minds, metaphors and (ethical) manipulation
Posts tagged misunderstanding
Why it pays to use their words
Aug 3rd
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The new coalition government in the UK uses a different language to its predecessor. Of course, it’s still English – and it’s still packed with jargon! But according to a leaked memo, there have been subtle changes.
“Targets” have been replaced by “results”; “stakeholders” by “people”; “narrowing the gap” by “closing the gap”; “state” by “society” and so on.
According to an item on Radio 4 the memo was created to help outside agencies communicate more effectively with the government. How could it help? The implicit presupposition is that if you want to get your message across to someone, using their words rather than your own can be very valuable.
Research shows that this definitely does pay. Professor Richard Wiseman (in his brilliant book 59 Seconds) quotes a study from the University of Nijmegen in which a waitress increased her tips by 70 per cent simply by repeating the customer’s order back to them, rather than saying “okay” or “coming right up”.
How does this work? As commentator Dr Nicholas Ostler put it on the Today programme, “The way More >
Will X-Ray Listening make you a better lover?
Dec 2nd
Short answer: Probably. Read on for more details
Last week I was speculating: “What if everyone knew how to listen?” and describing that special build-your-own-goldmine state, created by X-Ray Listening techniques, in which you can really connect easily with family, friends, colleagues and customers, and really understand what people are thinking and feeling.
“And then what happens?” asked my friendly neighbourhood marketing guru. “What will the benefit be for your customers? People don’t want a quarter-inch drill – they want a quarter-inch hole! If your service was turned into a pill, how would you know they’d taken it? What would you see that was different?”
“They’d have improved sales and be better lovers!” I joked.
But later I realised that it wasn’t really a joke. I have plenty of evidence that learning to listen well, to become fascinated by the other person and discover what’s important to them, can transform relationships of all kinds.
There’s my personal story: I was painfully shy before I began to learn these skills. Now I’m not only considered a bit of a whizz at networking, but also engaged to be married to a wonderful man.
I’m pleased I’ve taught him a bit of the X-Ray Listening stuff, too. He was wonderful already, of course, More >
