Posts tagged metaphor

Why it pays to use their words

Aug 3rd

Posted by Judy in Posts

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The new coalition government in the UK uses a different language to its predecessor. Of course, it’s still English – and it’s still packed with jargon! But according to a leaked memo, there have been subtle changes.

“Targets” have been replaced by “results”; “stakeholders” by “people”; “narrowing the gap” by “closing the gap”; “state” by “society” and so on.

According to an item on Radio 4 the memo was created to help outside agencies communicate more effectively with the government. How could it help? The implicit presupposition is that if you want to get your message across to someone, using their words rather than your own can be very valuable.

Research shows that this definitely does pay. Professor Richard Wiseman (in his brilliant book 59 Seconds) quotes a study from the University of Nijmegen in which a waitress increased her tips by 70 per cent simply by repeating the customer’s order back to them, rather than saying “okay” or “coming right up”.

How does this work? As commentator Dr Nicholas Ostler put it on the Today programme, “The way people talk is close to their soul.”

Using the other person’s words, parrot-phrasing rather than paraphrasing:

  • encourages the person to like you. Matching language sends a strong hint More >
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the cat in the hat

How to come up with a metaphor

Feb 16th

Posted by Judy in Metaphor

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If you’ve done much reading about the way our minds work, you’re probably aware of the power of metaphor to influence and persuade.

You’ll know that great teachers, statesmen, artists and religious leaders use metaphors to capture our hearts, while great salesmen, marketers and gizmo-makers use them as a fast-track to our wallets. That’s because metaphor is the native language of the unconscious mind.

It’s increasingly well-known that a great metaphor will bring a presentation or an article to life. Perhaps, like me, you regularly read the question: “Has anyone got a great metaphor for…?” from people ranging from schoolkids to speechwriters.

What’s less well known is that our ordinary language is awash with metaphors – something like six per minute, depending what you include. Again, that’s because metaphor is the native language of the unconscious mind: the metaphors we use in our thinking spill out in our words. But it takes practice – and perhaps training – to notice these spontaneous metaphors as they emerge.

So, here’s a simple technique to help someone to come up with a metaphor for an abstract concept, such as “user interface”. Use this whenever someone asks you to help them come up with a metaphor, whenever you want More >

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What’s the point?

Nov 24th

Posted by Judy in Listening

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I was teaching X-Ray Listening to a group of consultants the other day. It’s always a fantastic experience: I love the look on people’s faces as they have various realisations, and discover exciting new things about themselves and their colleagues.

There’s a great energy as people play and practice. At first, listening may be a struggle for them. The atmosphere is edgy and nervous, with complaints that the room is too crowded, and that it’s difficult to hear your partner over other voices.

But by the end of the day, the magic takes over. It’s as if each listener-listenee pair is in its own, invisible bubble, engaged and entranced.

The listener is gripped by their curiosity as they explore their partner’s unconscious mind. The person being listened to becomes fascinated by their own thoughts as they emerge, twinkling, into the light.

It’s ‘rapport’, but not as most people know it. There’s a real intimacy, a meeting of minds. It’s a special, almost sacred state.

What if everyone knew how to listen like this?  What if we could really connect easily with family, friends, colleagues and customers?  Really understand what people were thinking and feeling?

That’s what X-Ray Listening does. It’s a set of deceptively simple techniques to achieve this More >

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