X-Ray Listening
minds, metaphors and (ethical) manipulation
Making Meaning
Aug 9th
‘When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’
Humpty Dumpty was busy defining ‘glory’ to mean ‘a nice knock-down argument’. A bit unlikely, but somehow it worked for him.
I think there’s an important life lesson in this vignette from Through The Looking Glass.
You could argue that what works for egg-shaped characters in Victorian children’s story-books won’t necessarily hold true for human beings, who are operating in the real world of riots and downgrades, death, love and sex.
But my observation is that if anything, the Humpty Dumpty principle is even more true for humans than it was for the old crack-head.
Because it’s not just words which can have whatever meaning we choose.
Riots, too, can mean just what we choose them to mean. The meaning you make of the events in London over the past few nights depends almost entirely on your point of view.
There is no single meaning to the events of the last few nights – there are millions of meanings, at least as many meanings as there are participants and observers.
We could spend hours using Clean Language questions to understand the meanings More >
Reflections on Moondust
Aug 4th
For some lightish summer reading, I’ve been enjoying Moondust, by Andrew Smith.
It’s all about his quest to meet all the surviving people who’ve walked on the moon. It’s a very thoughtful book: plenty of story, but plenty of reflection, too.
And one of his conclusions involves reflection of a slightly different kind.
“Just as [the Moonwalkers] travelled to the Moon only to find the Earth, I’ve come to find them, but what I seem to be seeing is myself and everyone else reflected in them, finding that the thoughts and questions the Moonwalkers provoke when we look at them are more valuable than any answers they might attempt to provide; that our fascination is not abut them, it’s about us.”
As I read those works the Clean Languager in me shouts an enthusiastic “Yes!”
It’s as if Smith is touching on a truth that seems hidden to most people, a truth that’s true of much more than the way we see the Moonwalkers.
We don’t see reality. We don’t even see flitered reality.
We see ourselves, reflected in reality.
Know any successful life coaches?
Jul 27th
“I asked the guy next to me what he did and he said: ‘I’m a life coach’. I said: ‘I’m sorry to hear that.”
So joked Topher Morrison at a conference recently.
(Incidentally, he’s speaking at the London YES Group tonight.)
Was he right? Is it inevitable that anyone who describes themselves as a ‘life coach’ is unsuccessful at attracting clients, and that commercial success is available only to specialists?
Or are there actually armies of successful life coaches out here?
I’d love to know.
Not least because later this week I’ll be releasing the tentative conclusions from a Clean Language modeling project which suggest that personal development actually makes you bad at marketing. But I’m aware I’ve been working from a self-selected sample.
I’ve now worked with dozens of people who volunteered for a “sweet spot session” in which I would help them find the place where their unique skills, knowledge and experience coincided with the needs of a hungry crowd.
What I haven’t been able to do is see the other side. I’m not sure I know any ‘life coaches’ – or any non-specialist coaches – who regard themselves as commercially successful
So, shout up in the comments below. Do you know any successful ‘life coaches’?
More >Why Personal Development Makes You Bad At Marketing
Jul 25th
If you’re a “struggling coach”, look away now…
The alarming truth is that reading self-help books and going on personal development workshops literally makes you bad at marketing, in at least two specific ways.
That’s my tentative conclusion from my recent research in the sweet spot sessions. And this week, I’ll be sharing two crucial insights from my modelling so far.
First, here’s the “struggling coach” scenario. Look familiar?
- You are unhappy with your life as it is, and decide to change. You start your personal development journey.
- You go on lots of courses, perhaps even qualifying as a workshop junkie.
- As a side-effect of your personal transformation, you become an NLP Practitioner or an EFT Trainer or a Hypnotherapist or a Supercoach or whatever.
- You transform your own life, outgrow your own conception of yourself, and decide that you want to experience the freedom of self-employment while helping others to change their lives, too.
- Then you set out your stall as an independent “helping professional” and… slowly go broke as you search fruitlessly for clients.
It seems such a natural progression. Sure as night follows day…
Now, here’s the thing. What if the “going broke” part wasn’t the fault of the struggling coach… but was a natural consequence of More >
