minds, metaphors and (ethical) manipulation
Should You Follow Up With Coaching Clients?
Why do people become coaches, NLP practitioners, therapists, hypnotherapists… communication skills trainers… or even business consultants?
I suspect it’s often because we want to do something “meaningful”, something “worthwhile”, something that “matters”. We want to help people, and to make a difference in the world.
And I’m beginning to suspect that if that’s what we want, some of us may be shooting ourselves in the foot.
I’m currently reading Dan Ariely’s The Upside Of Irrationality, which includes details of experiments which show just how much the “meaning” in our work motivates us. It’s far, far more than you might expect.
Ariely says: “If you take people who love something… and you place them in meaningful working conditions, the joy they derive from the activity is going to be a major driver in dictating their level of effort. However, if you take the same people with the same initial passion and desire and place them in meaningless working conditions, you can very easily kill any internal joy they might derive from the activity.”
He continues: “If companies really want their workers to produce, they should try to impart a sense of meaning – not just through vision statements but by allowing employees to feel a sense of completion and ensuring that a job well done is acknowledged. At the end of the day, such factors can exert a huge influence on satisfaction and productivity.”
When I started working as a coach, I very much bought into the NLP truism that a single breakthrough session with me should be “enough”. Anything else was said to be the “the-rapist” model, where clients might become dependent on me and I would be exploiting their vulnerability.
So it was my job to help the client to make the crucial change in under an hour. I’d see the evidence of the transformation on their face, in their attitude. They’d be delighted… and then I’d probably never hear from them again.
I still do one-off “Sweet Spot Sessions” (book here).
And I also have a small number of longer-term coaching clients, who work with me regularly as they develop their coaching businesses over three to six months. Not only can I hear the delight in their voices in the session – but I can also track changes over time, and see the changes they are making in the real world, in their lives and in their businesses.
Which kind of work provided more meaning, more satisfaction, for me? You’ve guessed it!
So I decided to add a follow-up survey to the Sweet Spot Sessions: I sent out a set of questions which would benefit the clients by giving them a reminder of their insights, while providing me with feedback about real-world results. Instant meaning!
But this is controversial, in the circles I move in. Apparently, at least one hypnotherapists’ organisation actually has a rule banning therapists from contacting their customers after therapy. And there’s still that NLP truism about “the-rapists” to consider.
Do you single-session changework? Do you follow up with your clients?
If not, why not?
And what might that be doing to your job satisfaction, your motivation, and your joy?
- Please comment below.
| Print article | This entry was posted by Judy on 25/10/2011 at 11:08 am, and is filed under Clean Language, The Mind. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. |










about 6 months ago
Hi Judy
I preframe a follow up in my sessions by asking the client – at the end of the session – to text me to let me know how they are progressing as their new behaviours / outcomes become embedded in daily life. It creates a presupposition in the client’s mind that change will (i) occur (ii) be sustained over time.
Not all clients do follow up but I personally feel it is caring to offer the option. It also gives me an opportunity to solicit a testimonial where the circumstances are appropriate.
Like you I believe most presenting problems can be dealt with in a single session. Most of my sessions run for 2 – 3 hours though I don’t put a time limit on it preferring to use sensory acuity to know if the client is producing generative change or not. If there’s no obvious shift, then I’ll switch techniques (e.g. to eliminate secondary gain) until a noticeable shift is achieved. A good personal history helps here.
Do I always see a shift? No, not always and there are a host of potential reasons for that (e.g. insufficient rapport, secondary gain, fear). Provided I have exhausted most of the tools in my bag then I am satisfied that we both have done our best and offer to connect the client with an alternative therapist.
There may be legitimate reasons why an intervention does not work and – not being attached to the outcome – I am happy to recommend another session but usually with someone else I know and trust have the client’s best interests at heart.
Best wishes,
Paul
about 6 months ago
Thanks Paul. I’m curious – do you think it affects your “job satisfaction” if you do get a follow-up text?
about 6 months ago
Hi Judy
I wonder if the truism is actually stopping therapists from enjoying their careers. A man went to see a therapist about insomnia. After three sessions, the therapist thought he had failed and contented himself with saying that the man did not want to find a solution. The man took that to mean that he is a man who does not sleep. It is part of his identity. I wonder if the therapist had not given up, apparently thinking he had exhausted all of his tools, that the issue may have been resolved. But it might have taken years because a superior form of counselling, i.e., a combination of all the tools for NLP was required over a longer period of time. The obstacle is the truism which now seems like a fear of hypnotism of a client has been recognized. The following thought is the public must be protected and the result is a slamming down of long-term help in case of damage to a person’s mind. That doesn’t take the different ways of helping into account and it only takes worst case. Maybe it’s a question of explaining the process and the tools to reassure everyone. I wonder if the greatest gift is to ensure the client has the tools to think for him/herself. The human brain may well be able to take information/tools and recover a balance. Do you risk making everyone think the same way? No, because all therapists are different as are all people. You can give the same information to a hundred people and they will all take it in a different way. It’s the reason given for some people popping to the top of a profession and others not. Fascinating. Could the truism obstacle have inadvertently begun to affect therapists? If the therapists acknowledge that their help to the person is one of development, they could get continuing fulfillment. Maybe they could consider that and think of people less of a job to be finished than ongoing development. Just my two cents as a reader of the subject.
about 6 months ago
Hi Judy,
I have re-framed, re-organised and re-marketed because of this very reason! My clients go off and do great things with themselves after successful sessions. Which is great.
I find the term “coach” allows myself and others to grab the advantages of a longer term consultation.
This is applied to businesses, freelancers and start-ups. Together we enjoy quiet (or louder!) satisfaction when the business turns around and people are happily fulfilled in profitable fun work. Coaching implies all of this to me.
I still do personal one-to-ones and I love your “Sweet Spot” name! But I really like my Creator Coach clients and I love what they do with everything I can share with them.
Mal
about 6 months ago
Hi Mal, many thanks. I love the idea of “louder satisfaction” – I’m going to be playing with that for a while.
And what a great-looking website, too – I look forward to seeing what happens next there.