Archive for November, 2009

What’s the point?

Nov 24th

Posted by Judy in Listening

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I was teaching X-Ray Listening to a group of consultants the other day. It’s always a fantastic experience: I love the look on people’s faces as they have various realisations, and discover exciting new things about themselves and their colleagues.

There’s a great energy as people play and practice. At first, listening may be a struggle for them. The atmosphere is edgy and nervous, with complaints that the room is too crowded, and that it’s difficult to hear your partner over other voices.

But by the end of the day, the magic takes over. It’s as if each listener-listenee pair is in its own, invisible bubble, engaged and entranced.

The listener is gripped by their curiosity as they explore their partner’s unconscious mind. The person being listened to becomes fascinated by their own thoughts as they emerge, twinkling, into the light.

It’s ‘rapport’, but not as most people know it. There’s a real intimacy, a meeting of minds. It’s a special, almost sacred state.

What if everyone knew how to listen like this?  What if we could really connect easily with family, friends, colleagues and customers?  Really understand what people were thinking and feeling?

That’s what X-Ray Listening does. It’s a set of deceptively simple techniques to achieve this More >

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The joy of listening

Nov 6th

Posted by Judy in Listening

One of the best things about listening is the pleasure it brings – both to the person being listened to, and to the listener.

There’s a real joy for me in eliciting new information: information that my interviewee didn’t know they knew.  People are absolutely fascinating, once you get beyond the everyday conversational niceties and discussions about the weather.

Susan Scott, author of Fierce Conversations, puts it well:”When I worked for a search firm, someone asked me how I could bear to interview people all day. It was as if this person felt that interviews with job candidates couldn’t be interesting, that somehow they must be all alike. The question astounded me. I almost always lost myself in those interviews.”

Susan goes on to describe her experience of a ‘typical’ candidate. “He is a delightful human being who raises basil as a hobby, makes incredible pesto. I don’t remember what colour his eyes are, but I do know that he has an eye for detail, incredible organizational skills, and a wonderfully wry sense of humour. I think he’d be successful with several of our clients.”

If you’re ever bored when you’re interviewing someone, it’s time to upgrade your questioning and listening skills!

And then there’s More >

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